


jumping the gun

by loveitloveit



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Awkwardness, Hugs, Introspection, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28970865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveitloveit/pseuds/loveitloveit
Summary: Ibara’s body is covered in scars, although he pretends it isn’t, and Hajime doesn’t ask.
Relationships: Saegusa Ibara/Shino Hajime
Comments: 13
Kudos: 51





	jumping the gun

**Author's Note:**

> set during bogie time, which also changed me as a person

Ibara’s body is covered in scars, although he pretends it isn’t, and Hajime doesn’t ask.

They’re old, Hajime notes – jagged, white lines running roughly across his back, faded gashes dotting his torso and shoulders and upper arms – souvenirs of a past so far-removed from the polished perfection of idolhood, Hajime hardly dares imagine it at all. He doubts Ibara _wants_ him to imagine it, anyway. They dance delicately around that subject, toeing the line but never crossing it, and Ibara pulls them away every time either one of them brushes dangerously close.

“You should get ready for bed too, Jimenyan,” says Ibara wearily, and Hajime flushes as he realises his lingering eyes have been caught. “Filming tomorrow begins at eight o’clock sharp.”

“Y-Yes, Ibanyan! I’m sorry!”

Crazy:B’s old dormitory offers little in the way of privacy, though, and in the eight days they’ve spent living there together, they’ve both seen far more of each other than either one of them is entirely comfortable with. There’s something so _wrong_ about it, Hajime thinks. Something indecent in the way it’s so easy for him to see Ibara so exposed, and while Ibara doesn’t go out of his way to _hide_ the marks on his body, the way he always gets dressed so quickly makes it obvious enough he’d rather not draw attention to them at all.

As Ibara pointedly pulls on his pajama shirt, Hajime can’t help but wonder. Is his teammate embarrassed by those scars? Does he think they’re unsightly? Unacceptable? A sign of weakness? In any such case, Hajime would have to politely disagree. Something as inconsequential as a few _scars_ could never tarnish Ibara’s natural beauty, and besides, Hajime has never thought of wounds as anything to be ashamed of. He even has a couple of them himself – a little burn on his hand from when he’d accidentally spilled a cup of tea, a scraped knee from that time he’d tripped over during dance practice – and they were nothing more than marks the world had left on him, proof he’d lived.

Although perhaps in Ibara’s case, they were proof he’d _survived_.

“Um,” Hajime says, heart pounding in his ears, “Y-You were really cool today. During the shooting gallery, I mean.” It’s a desperate attempt to relieve the tension, but his words are nothing if not sincere. Ibara’s performance during the amusement park date staple, a challenge set by none other than Rhythm Link’s own Kaoru Hakaze, had left even the indomitable God Team in the dust.

Ibara shrugs dismissively. “It was nothing. I’ve had a lot of experience.”

“Of carnival games?”

“Of… something like that.”

It's hard to tell if he wants to talk about it or not, and Hajime realises all too late that they’re quickly approaching that risky territory again. Conversations with Ibara are like a minefield, he thinks – dangerous, unpredictable, something someone as lacking in social skills as him shouldn’t be trusted to navigate. He’s spared the effort of coming up with a safe response, however, when Ibara abruptly sets off a bomb himself.

"It's a lot easier than shooting a real gun." 

Hajime’s world has always been one bursting with love. He’s been wrapped in it, cushioned by it, hugged and kissed for seventeen long years, treasured since the moment he took his very first breath. He’s one of the lucky ones, he knows this. Not every child is so fortunate to be born to such wonderful parents. Not every child is raised in a home full of warmth and laughter, surrounded by an army of guardian angels who would give their very lives if it meant he’d grow up safe and happy. Not Ibara, who brings up war in idle everyday conversation, not Ibara, who’s forever watching his back for anyone who might stab him in it, not Ibara, who laughs cheerfully, playing off his disturbing familiarity with the appearance of an MK23 as nothing more than a silly, light-hearted joke.

Hajime has never seen a gun. 

“How do you know?” Hajime asks softly, and for a heartbeat, Ibara remains deathly silent. “Ibanyan, how do you know?”

“I don’t, of course.” Ibara gives an easy smile. It’s jarringly out of place for the conversation they’ve just been having, and something about it sends a tiny, stinging pain tearing through Hajime’s heart. “It was merely a joke, Jimenyan. Please ignore me if my sense of humour is too dark for you!"

As if Hajime’s buying _that_ anymore.

People call Ibara all sorts of things – sly, vicious, ass-kissing, a snake. Hajime isn’t so naïve that he’s oblivious as to why. He knows what Ibara is. He just thinks – _hopes_ – that hidden behind the forked silver tongue, the charming smiles, the scars, there might be something just a little bit _more_. 

It might be presumptuous of him to assume that Ibara is hurting, and it would _definitely_ be jumping the metaphorical gun to claim he can _heal_ him – but there’s no harm in sharing just a tiny bit of the love his life has been so abundant in, is there? And before Ibara can turn around to start folding the clothes on his bed, Hajime leaps toward him, and before either of them have the chance to fully comprehend what’s going on, Hajime’s arms are coiled around Ibara’s waist, holding him close as if he’s a tiny, precious child, soothing his heart that’s been ravaged by the evils of the world from far too young an age. Or not. Hajime doesn’t know.

“J-Jimenyan– what–?” 

There’s an allegory to be had somewhere, Hajime thinks, in a rabbit like him clinging so desperately to a venomous snake, and he’s not stupid enough to ignore the fact that he’s _asking_ to be eaten alive – but he’s no stranger to throwing himself into the jaws of danger for the ones he cares about. The only difference this time is that those jaws _belong_ to the person he’s trying so hard to love. Ibara’s arms hang awkwardly in the air either side of him and Hajime only holds on tighter in response, vaguely registering a pleasantly sweet scent and the sound of Ibara’s breath hitching in his throat.

He doesn’t think Ibara has been hugged very much.

**Author's Note:**

> i can't stop thinking about ibara and hajime's awkward but mutually respectful relationship and the way ibara tells hajime really personal things and the way hajime tries so hard to make him happy... never thought i'd be shipping ibahaji but please read bogie time they are just really cute and good for each other i think


End file.
